October 20th ~ A Visit With Elder Holland

HELLO!!! Well I almost have no time.....I had an amazing time with Elder Holland and saw EVERYONE!!! I had the best time ever, we just got home b/c we had to sleep in the mission home b/c we couldnt catch a boat back in time. oops....

By the way, I might be living with one of the elder's girlfriends at BYU, she lives south of campus, hopefully she emails me, this next week or after b/c she seems cool and like we would get along. Also, YES I want the snowboarding pass...PLEASE thats the only thing ill ask for. i think I can get a student discount...Also, sign me up for those classes and well go from there. When do we have to pay for school? Im still deciding exactly what i want to do.

Can you please, email s. honey, I think shes back in Bogo. I talked to President last night. and Bogo had really decreased....im super upset. I didnt sleep all night last night. I also found out one of my favorite families has basically gone inactive and one of my converts stopped going to church and is smoking again. I dont think i can express how much i love these people....and if only i could just go back and fix everythng. im feeling pretty... whats the word, trapped or limited....Also my first family i baptized...they think they moved away and they are somewhere in bohol and they dont know how they're doing. im really suffering, from hearing this...i know the lord will take care of them, but i found out a lot of my converts are having problems. But then as I was suffering in bed, i remembered all the successes Ive had...like Mabolo is just a baptizing area now and my convert is the ward mission leader, and I have super active converts as branch missionaries giving referrals, and one in the relief society presidency....but I feel .0000001% of what heavenly father feels, it has felt like my heart has been ripped out, b/c these people were soo strong when they were baptized, and I dont know what has happened. im really frustrated i cant go back and find out for myself instead of being told by other missionaries that have almost no information. sorry. i know im usually positive,,,but I have to be honest....i have faith but its still hard.

Calape is still doing great, our branch mission leader, left for his mission, this week...its gonna put a lot more weight on us....and im pretty sure i only have three weeks left.

it was weird seeing all my mission friends, we're like a family....i dont wanna go home. im the one going home first, theyll still all be here, you know i hate being left out. E. Holland was amazing we took a big group photo with him and all shook his hand. even with two months left I still have a long way to go to improve as a missionary. I received amazing revalation in the temple and just feel my eyes are now being opeened to the gospel...i have soo much to share with you.

so....ive been having this fear lately, ive seen a lot of inactive rms on my mission. and have wondered how? after this amazing experience they could go inactive. well E. Holland answered my prayer...he talked about the new preach my gospel program and that truly it is to convert the missionary. Well....i know i am my best new convert. My heart is changed, im beginning to understand what it means to be baptized by fire. I have no disposition to do evil but good continually. I have NO DOUBT this church is true, that joseph smith is a true prophet called by God, and made by the lord to live up to that potential. i know god looks at the inside of our hearts, and loves ALL his children. I know Jesus Christ is our savior and loves us more than we can imagine and if we continue on his pathway we become children of christ through the atonement. I love studying my scriptures, its alive and real. these prophets are real and my example. i am a convert, and the lord has answered my prayer that if i watch and pray continually, and go out every day in my armour of god, i will never fall away. Im no longer worried, cause I know i will never fall away. and you know me if i say im gonna do something. I DO IT!

love you, sorry the email was late.